by Jwar » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:32 am
All last week I was angry. Angry to the point where I handed several people their asses including my dad, my brothers, my sister in law and even my wife.
Each for different reasons. My sister in law is a shit mother and I've been watching her kids and it's been joyous for me. Well, she doesn't communicate with me at all and just up and has her mother watching them whenever. So, I'll have worked my entire life (appointments, work...etc) around when I think I'm watching them and then, they don't come. No notice, no info, just not coming. It's happened like three times. She also brings them hungry every single time. They are not being fed lunch and it's almost 1pm when they arrive or sometimes they haven't eaten all day. Her oldest daughter is 11 and anorexic. She's 58 lbs and says she's fat all the time.
I've been trying to positively reinforce shit in them for a month and it just gets wrecked because the moms says "I'm fat" too. My God. Keep your fucking shit in check in front of your kids. I don't care if you have fucking mental issues. Those little ones don't know how to take it and you are destroying their lives and as a result of how shitty a person she is, it's making me into a fucking dickhead.
Couple that with my dad being a constant cunt and me being so done with it that I want to smash his skull in with a hammer. My brother being a whinny bitch about fearing to have to struggle if my parents die (who the fuck thinks like that???). You know, since he's NEVER had a real job, never struggled, never had to be a fucking man and has zero clue how to be one. My other brother, same story but he's a shitty dad who only cares about himself and thinks he's great since he sees his kids 3 days a week (for like 3 hours at a time).
My wife, who is married to her goddamn job so much that she can barely be present in my life or my kids.
Yea, I had a melt down. I yelled, I cussed, I lashed out, I cried. Guess what? My sister in law doesn't get it, so she's taken her kids to a daycare (that was an option??? WHAT???). My brother is still whining like a bitch. My dad is still acting like a cunt on a daily basis. My other brother is stressed because now he has to pay for daycare and may have to get a job (OMG!!! SO TERRIBLE!!!). My wife is still married to her work (she had mountains on her lap last night).
So now, I apologize for lashing out because I know no one will do the same to me, and I'm not given forgiveness, I'm given "yea what's been wrong with you"?
My wife understands, my kids understand....no one else.
FUCK MY FAMILY. Fuck my friends. I'm getting to the point of no return. Nobody gives a shit how I am or how I feel. I'm just done.
"I do not have the ability to think rationally 90% of the time and I also change my mind at the drop of a hat".
-JWAR