by Jwar » Sat Sep 15, 2018 10:27 am
Sorry for everyone's woes. Seems like a lot of us are constantly going through some crazy shit.
Well, my week was interesting. Really my month.
I injured my leg and almost tore a muscle after being sick for 7 days. That fucking sucked I'm ok now, but I got super lucky. I wasn't exercising either, I was working on a furnace and my feet slipped due to the floor being slippery. Freak accident.
That however doesn't even matter in my mind right now.
Two days ago I got a call from my father at 9 am saying my sister was going to kill herself and that he wanted me to go to her house asap. He was also on the way. So I did. I thought you know, maybe she's just talking and down, so I rushed but didn't put much thought to it.
I pulled up to her home and there were 10 police cars out front with officers pointing rifles at my sisters house. There was a moment where I didn't know what I was going to do. First I tried to pull into her driveway after ignoring the police and driving around them, then I was asked what the hell I was doing. I said "that's my sister in there"! They asked me nicely to move my car behind theirs and I obviously complied. When I got out of the car, I hobbled as fast as I could to find out what the fuck is going on. I see an officer standing a few feet from me with a rifle pointed at her front door and my intimidate thought was to bum rush him and keep my sister from being shot. I did not do this luckily, I rationalized with myself that it would not help. So, instead I began talking with the police and her husband and my father. She was in the house and they believe she had a fire arm because she said she did apparently to her husband, who was the person that called the police.
The police were able to talk my sister out of the house and she was screaming "I don't have a gun" as they are yelling for her to put her hands in the air while being approached with rifles pointed at her. At this point, I thought I was in a nightmare. How in the fuck could this be happening. Why??
She came out and was handcuffed and put in an ambulance.
Since I was talking so much with the police, they asked me to go talk to her and see if I could calm her down. I went to the ambulance and told my sister that I love her and I'm sorry for whatever she's dealing with. I told her I'd help her in any way that I could and that I'm here for her no matter what. I then asked, can you tell me what's wrongs. She kicked out at the side of the ambulance and screamed "my husband is a porn addict and he wants to fuck other women". Then she proceeded to cry uncontrollably.
At that point the police asked me to come back out of the ambulance. They then asked me to talk to her about what was going to happen next. She was going to go the hospital either willingly or handcuffed in the back of a police car.
So, I went back to her and let her know that she has zero options and she's going one way or another and it's for her safety but she is going by choice or not. She luckily decided to go on her own account.
I talk to her husband, he's crying saying "why did I do this, why did I call the police"? See she told him she had a gun in the bathroom with her, which turned out to be true. So I told him that he did the right thing. What was important is that she is safe.
I took all 4 of her kids including her infant and took them over to my parents house and watched them all day.
My sister ended up going to a hospital voluntarily and surprisingly, she decided to stay for more than she was required too. By law, they cannot hold you there in these situations unless you came while in custody or her husband used his power of attorney to force her to stay, but she chose to.
I saw her yesterday. I talked to her for a solid 20 minutes out of the hour visit we were allowed. I told her how much I love and cherish her and how I was willing to do anything if she needed help. I'll watch the kids, I'll buy you groceries, I'll listen to her distress, I'll give you a ride if you need one, I'll do anything. I'll die for you because I love you more than she will ever be able to comprehend. I cried, she cried, we hugged.
I made sure to hug her three times when I was there and the last time was a big ole bear hug that she needed. She needs love and attention and her husband is not capable of it, he just isn't, at least not right now. He's an extremely conflicted man who grew up in Israel and was taught that women are lesser than him. His father was a cheater and a distant man while he was growing up. He has been depressed now for as long as I can remember. Gaining weight and not taking care of himself because of the sadness he feels. Why? Well, I know some, but I don't know all.
It wasn't about him though at that point. It was about my sister and now I'm scared. I'm scared to death because she could get out and do it for real. I see hope in her and she smiled and even laughed a few times, but the way her eyes were in the back of that ambulance after being handcuffed...it seemed like the lights were on but no one was home. I've never seen that level of emotional detachment from her and that scares me. I want my sister to live. I want her to live for herself and to love herself and say "fuck you" to whoever hurts her, including her husband.
Life is so strange and so hard sometimes and it just seem like things cascade and build and dog pile on you all at the same time. I don't even want to go into the other bs I've been through lately.
I'll say this final thing though. Seeing what I saw fucked with me bad. My sister having the police reading to use deadly force if needed. I don't think I'll ever get over that. I don't care however right now, I care about her right now. My shit can wait. I'm so confused, upset and just sad.
"I do not have the ability to think rationally 90% of the time and I also change my mind at the drop of a hat".
-JWAR
