by lawrence scaduto » Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:18 am
Hey!
First: thanks for all the kind words you guys!
Second: You guys did a killer job of discussing the use of the word "Bitch" in a civil manner. I forget that is still possible on the internet.
Is it cool if I weigh in on the name?
When I first came up with the name, it was so silly and clearly ironic (to me) that I couldn't imagine anyone would take offense. To me it was being said by a doofus in a bar trying to impress his buddies by which stomp switches he buys. He gets the bitches because, well you know, they love his switches. Irony! There was a meme going around back then that was all nerdy stuff like, "Bitches love my 12 sided dice". That inspired me too. And as a musician and song writer, I just loved the flow of it, like a lyric. It feels good to say. So why not?
That was quite a while ago in terms of how our culture deals with language. People are more "woke" or sensitive now. I'm more sensitive (I just can't call myself "woke" without feeling like a poser). I got married, had a daughter (she turned 2 today!) and aged a little bit. I can see how it would bother someone. And I'm sure someone could make a great case on how language can oppress. And someone else could make a case for how no one is really getting hurt by the name. And I'd agree with both.
I've written 1000 different sentences trying to explain how this is possible because we don't actually have shared reality, we're just having these personal experiences that seem shared. We're also multiple people inside. If we feel something, it's true even if it's wrong because those feelings were felt. They happened...I just can't make it sound coherent.
I'm trying to go through this life as a good dude. I try to be moral. I try to speak up for the oppressed. I try to be fair. I try not to hurt others--unless it's in poker, I will take your chips and talk so much shit while doing it.
My wife Rebecca joined BLMS when we left Brooklyn, NY, for Portland, OR, a year and a half ago. The name was bothering her. She didn't like saying it to any professional we had to deal with. I get it. It's kind of an abrasive word. We also learned that Google, Instagram, Facebook and others really won't let you use any of their customer-facing services if your name might offend.
And then there's our daughter. Soon she'll be asked what her daddy does for a living. Portland is a proudly politically correct town. I don't want her to feel alienated by her peers because of what her dad does.
And it started bothering me. I started to feel a twinge of something negative when I had to say "Bitches". It just got abrasive. It's surprising how many times a day I have to say or read our name.
When you take into account that it could turn off potential customers, hurt people and all of the reasons stated above it seemed like it should go.
So we are kinda of sorta changing the name. I mean we did, mostly. We changed the URL, social media accounts and emails (we can still be reached at the old domain). The current logo on the site has "Bitches" in it but that's up there to make sure old customers don't get confused by the brand new look of the website. It will go eventually from the logo on the site. Probably in the next few months.
I am still holding onto it for some stuff like stickers and T-Shirts (soon!). I look at it as kinda like a nickname for your buddy that you would never say in front of your mom. You and your friends understand the meaning and humor behind behind Butthole Billy's nickname. But you wouldn't call him that in front of his boss. It's for us that know about it and understand the context.
Also, it's an important piece of my creative output that I just can't let it go. I'm sure you could make a case that I am still oppressing others in some way and you might be right. I honestly don't know how to tell. Part of me is like, "Show me the bodies! Who is actually hurt by this!" And another part is saying, "Eh, what's the big deal. You stopped saying "retarded" because why not be generous and caring and nice? Isn't that the whole point of life? To fight against the callous suffering causes and work to remain loving and connected to others?
I hope I've found a balance of honoring my creativity, humor and the feelings of others.
Sorry for the novel.